growing up there was such an emphasis on “looking presentable” and I was ridiculed for being a tall, lanky gal to the point that unless I’m put together my anxieties, along with my insecurities skyrocket. I’m not sure how to describe this properly, but I’m going to try my best here; I’m still confident, in a sense, yet at the same time the thought of running into some one with out a bit of make up, nice hair-do and cute outfit quiet frankly terrifies me. my mind tells me “if someone were to see you like this, they’d probably think you’re going through some real rough ish” when really I just wanted to get a few more minutes of sleep… or like in the most recent case, I’d just been on a 7 hour train ride from hell the night before and had got four hours of sleep.

yes, I was that girl in high school and college that would wake up at 5:00am or have to get ready two hours before class to make sure I looked my absolute best. I know I’m not alone here on this. maybe it’s something to do with our up bringing? like society telling us, women are meant to be these well manicured, pretty little things? or possibly a product of unresolved trauma from the past? more than likely it’s a mixture of a wide variety that coincides with all these points.

whatever it may be, however, we need to stop it. I hope to every god that is or ever was none of my children feel this way. I refuse to play into the toxic box society has told us to fit in and moreover hell be damned if I’m one of the reasons my children put themselves through ridiculous lengths just for some aesthetic’s appeal. this whole “if you’re not picture perfect, you’re not worth shit” ideal has got to go!

this is why my top priority for March is to fix this mindset and this post is me explaining exactly how I plan on doing that. feel free to join me on this ride! if you chose to do so then comment below or slide into my DMs–my socials are always linked below–so we can share our progress and ideas to conquer our self-image issues with each other!


  • partake in Make-up free March

  • embrace your natural hair–even if that means embracing frizz and non cohesive texture

  • inversion therapy–as in actually going out in public like this and then applying positive reconstructive thinking to these anxieties

  • cheeky little reward at the end of the month if the goal is accomplished

that’s it! doesn’t seem too hard and I’ve already got a bit of a head start to it. this shall be an interesting journey that hopefully helps me get over this… basically “aesthetics is everything” mindset.

even just reading that last part in my head made me go “yikes” out loud! I didn’t realize my social anxiety and remaining self-image issues have gotten this bad until now. I’ve made great strides in the past with conquering my insecurities–and just like I said before I’m still confident, just have a few aspects left to work on. soooo let’s get to it then!

here’s to being the people we needed most growing up and then some! have a wonderful day, beautiful!

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